{"id":3485,"date":"2018-06-27T16:08:23","date_gmt":"2018-06-27T14:08:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sboverseas.org\/?p=3485"},"modified":"2018-06-27T16:08:23","modified_gmt":"2018-06-27T14:08:23","slug":"the-chiefs-daughter","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sboverseas.org\/nl\/the-chiefs-daughter\/","title":{"rendered":"The Chief\u2019s Daughter"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Written by Kevin Charbel, Project Manager in Saida, Lebanon<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I still see her sometimes, walking through the maze of corridors in the shelter she lives in. <\/span><\/span>Our eyes will meet for the briefest of moments as she smiles <\/span><\/span><\/span>nervously<\/span><\/span><\/span> before dropping her gaze, and passing me by <\/span><\/span><\/span>silently<\/span><\/span><\/span>. <\/span><\/span>In that instant <\/span><\/span><\/span>I feel<\/span><\/span><\/span> the urge to reach out to her, to ask her how she\u2019s been and what she\u2019s up to, but I always hold back, because I know that any interaction between us carries a risk to her safety<\/span><\/span><\/span>. <\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Sarah <\/span><\/span>was married<\/span><\/span><\/span> under duress three months ago, at the age of 14. <\/span><\/span>For some time, she <\/span><\/span><\/span>openly<\/span><\/span><\/span> defied her father, the community\u2019s chief, resisting his attempts to marry her to another teenager<\/span><\/span><\/span>. She wanted to stay in school, to keep learning and to be with her friends. <\/span><\/span>Eventually<\/span><\/span><\/span> though, her father grew tired of her refusals, resorting instead to beating her into submission<\/span><\/span><\/span>. It didn\u2019t take long after that for Sarah to <\/span><\/span>be engaged<\/span><\/span><\/span>. <\/span><\/span>When I found out what had happened I made sure she knew we could protect her and that we would defend her right to choose, but by then, in her mind, the only thing worse than getting married to a stranger was to stay living with her father<\/span><\/span><\/span>. <\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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The once vibrant, cheeky student who would knock on my office door <\/span><\/span><\/span>just<\/span><\/span><\/span> to say hello disappeared from one day to another<\/span><\/span><\/span>. <\/span><\/span>Her marriage precludes her from continuing her education as she is now expected to prioritise domestic duties<\/span><\/span><\/span>. <\/span><\/span>This 14 year old girl is under pressure to learn to be a \u201cgood wife\u201d, meaning she must <\/span><\/span><\/span>quickly<\/span><\/span><\/span> master the skills to keep a clean home and <\/span><\/span><\/span>satisfy<\/span><\/span><\/span> her husband\u2019s appetite, as well as learn not to flinch when he makes sexual advances<\/span><\/span><\/span>. <\/span><\/span>Sarah\u2019s own desires and thoughts no longer matter; her position in society limited by the four walls of her modest home, where she <\/span><\/span><\/span>is expected<\/span><\/span><\/span> to remain while her husband is at work<\/span><\/span><\/span>. <\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Child brides are often told that the more compliant and submissive they are, the easier the transition will be<\/span><\/span><\/span>. They are the ones who must adapt, not their husband. They are the ones who must sacrifice, who must accept hardships and who must, <\/span><\/span>all of<\/span><\/span><\/span> a sudden, become women. <\/span><\/span>Sarah\u2019s imagination and fiery stubbornness were once assets in the classroom, where they could <\/span><\/span><\/span>be put<\/span><\/span><\/span> to good use<\/span><\/span><\/span>. Now these traits are a risk to her; she must lose this part of herself if she is to fit into the mould her father has set for her. <\/span><\/span>She has no real choice in the matter, as if she were to end up discarded by her husband, she would not have the option to start again, she would <\/span><\/span><\/span>be tainted<\/span><\/span><\/span>. <\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Her friends, who are still in school, tell me that Sarah\u2019s father threatens her with more violence should she seek to continue contact with any of our staff members<\/span><\/span><\/span>. <\/span><\/span>If she <\/span><\/span><\/span>is isolated<\/span><\/span><\/span> there is much less risk of her rejecting her conditions and, as time goes on, the combination of aloneness and intimidation will numb Sarah into accepting a reality she would otherwise never have chosen for herself<\/span><\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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SB OverSeas is working to tackle the increasing rate of child marriage in the refugee camps in Lebanon\u00a0by raising\u00a0awareness of the\u00a0situation on the\u00a0ground<\/span><\/span><\/span>. Read our latest report<\/span><\/span> here.<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Written by Kevin Charbel, Project Manager in Saida, Lebanon \u00a0 I still see her sometimes, walking through the maze of corridors in the shelter she lives in. Our eyes will meet for the briefest of moments as she smiles nervously before dropping her gaze, and passing me by silently. In that instant I feel the […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":162,"featured_media":3486,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[50,132,122,55],"tags":[154,108,59],"class_list":["post-3485","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advocacy","category-child-marriage-our-stories","category-empowerment","category-press-releases","tag-child-marriage","tag-early-marriage","tag-lebanon"],"yoast_head":"\nThe Chief\u2019s Daughter - SBO - D\u00e9veloppement Durable & Aide Humanitaire<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/sboverseas.org\/nl\/the-chiefs-daughter\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"nl_NL\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Chief\u2019s Daughter - SBO - D\u00e9veloppement Durable & Aide Humanitaire\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Written by Kevin Charbel, Project Manager in Saida, Lebanon \u00a0 I still see her sometimes, walking through the maze of corridors in the shelter she lives in. 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